:: Quiz of Secretness ::

What Kind of Mooser are You?
1) If you were in a gorcery store and a stranger complimented you on your choice of pants, your reaction would be to
somewhat mockingly reply "thanks, i do what i can"
i wouldn't believe them.
"dude. I know, they rock. not only did I get them at the thrift store for just a fucking dollar, BUT! they are BOY's pants.
Thank them and leave the store immediately, never to return.
Wonder what a 'gorcery' was and why I wanted to buy one.
regard them suspiciously, as my pants are so very obviously HORRIBLE.
question their sanity and contemplate not wearing those pants in public again.
Look at them strangely
go into a long bitter diatribe about the fact that you have no legs and thus have no pants, then proceed to beat the living daylights out of said stranger with... I don't know, something.
smile and happily tell the stranger that I purchased them for three dollars at my local goodwill/army surplus store.
Thank him/her sheepishly, then create as much distance between myself and him/her as possible. Unless we were in produce, in which case i might just start throwing stuff.
Look at them strangely and push my cart full oí cookies a bit faster.
Thank them and keep shopping.
...give him/her the evil eye
reply that they were men's pants, then name the store at which i bought them and the price i paid for them.
Ignore them and continue my internal struggle to decide between 'MAD' Magazine and 'The Weekly World News.'
look at them like they were insane, smile, and have ego bloat hideously
Smile awkwardly and attempt to walk away nonchalantly, while accidentally tangling myself up in a fruit display and breaking my neck.

2) People most often use this word to describe me
people don't describe me much
fuck. um... they use "weird." sometimes... um... "weird." people who like me have used the word "playful."
"Pathetic" at least I THINK it is...
Can I pick two? 'Nice', and 'strange'. If it has to be one, i'll stick with 'nice'.
crazy. but cannibalistic is always implied.
'that creepy guy who keeps laughing to himself'

3) When I am king/queen of the world, I will 
kill 80% of the people and use them to feed the rest of the population who will live in a utopian society of avarice and luxury.
force everyone to read Douglas Adams and watch MST3K
make ONLY tissues with lotion. it's not fair to have your face hurt so much. god damn. and stop letting crap bands making lots of money.
I... am.
I already am the Pope.
Eliminate SUVs and force cities to have public transportation systems.
order everyone to commit ritual suicide for the good of the planet.
immediately hand the job over to someone who cares, on the condition that I am provided soda and movies for LIFE.
Control all of the people and do the things I want.
rule the world, cha!
bah.... That would never happen.
socialize air travel. Imagine anyone being able to get on a plane to anyplace.
Make a super, ultimate llama farm corporation.
Banish those I deem stupid to the poles, seperating them by gender so they cannot reproduce. Then reshape the world to my liking.
...let my penguin minions chew on everyone real good, until they praise me as their lord and master.
aquire control over all peeps. then i and my army of peeps shall DESTROY. stuff.
Make MST Turkey Day marathons required by law.
I dunno, I'm content with the internet, eating, and playing hockey
Be overthrown immediately in a violent and bloody uprising.

4) I sleep in a(n) --
bed... honestly, who doesn't? don't give me that "i sleep in a coffin" shit.
cardboard box
bed. with 5 pillows. pillows rock.
ever-growing pile of RPG debris
...pair of sweats, in a messy bed, in my room, in a dorm complex, in a city, on a planet, in the universe.
fetal position.
bed. HA! I bet you thought I was gonna say "toaster", didn't ya? didn't ya?! ahahahahahaha!!
chair, trying to stay awake while engaged in IM chats at 3 AM.
large pile of fluffy pillows what are soft and warm. 
A big, dead mattress. It's name was Zem. 
Bed, bed, or bed (I love living in different houses)
With da' fishes.

5) If confronted by an attacker, I would --
go for the eyes and when they are blinded, find something heavy to beat them to death with.
confuse them with my amazing braaaaaaaaaaainmeats.
is he cute? seduce him/her more than likely.
Kick it. And steal its slushie.
Be attacked.
Cite statutory and case law to remind him of the consequences of his actions
have a nervous breakdown.
invite them to my next party.
Attack them back
grab the nearest object, edible or not, and eat it.
make loud, intimidating animal noises (no, I'm serious.)
Drop the son of a bitch with an inside cresent kick to the right temple. Then emerge from that dream-state 20 minutes later realizing i had given him all my belongings and ran like hell.
Cower in fear
Smite them. Or strike them with a lightening bolt. 
...stare at him until he breaks down and cries
devour them whole, starting with the elbows.
Command my army of vermin to attack... it.
Scream, shout random things, attack, and bite the offender while hitting him with whatevers closer
Drop to the ground and roll around screaming "Not the face!!"

6) My most prized posession is a(an) --
materialistically = computer, emotionally = significant other
my laptop
a collection of pictures of my idol/significant other. (haha. significant other.)
collection of video games
Copy of Photoshop
ring on my ICKLE FINGER!
(no answer)
plastic cow named cecil
my amazing vBallGrip pen.
Cannondale road bike.
My title and my pitchfork.
pimptight zim doll.
Zim-phony disc... please don't hurt me.
I don't have one, I don't prize anything
hose precious few moments of life...

7) When you meet your end, it will most likely be the result of --
a televised execution
being incredibly out of shape
it BETTER be something cool. if I die of a disease I will be super mega pissed. what a lameass way to die. probably getting shot in the head while doing something routine in public.
Stick-to-it-ive-ness and not thinking before I act.
Sleep deprivation
clawing my own ears out from all the insults I'm imagining.
caffeine overdose
A disgruntled person will murder me.
being shot in the face for saying something stupid
vanilla extract inhilation. It is possible to go overboard.
A ridiculous piece of poor judgment. I'm talking the stuff of darwin awards.
Too much Mexican food
Being too compassionate.
eating too many bad moosers.
Not looking both ways before crossing the... interstate...
Heartattack, murder, or stroke
Posting-related death, most certainly.

lazy, bleeding-heart, hippies
myself. I tend to be the person to blame... sometimes I'm pretty damn proud of it, too.
The faceless bureaucratic superstructure, the patriarchy, and Henry Ford
Always myself, unless it is CLEARLY the Irony Gods' fault
I blame you, you low-life piece of shit!
that damned lampshade over there... always staring... staring... it's laughing at me... WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?!?! 
The person what did the thing to be blamed for, and nobody else.
My parents, Itís always their fault.
Klein! and Mecha. 
The government monkeys, dammit!
them cows. MOO! cows.
The system.
I blame SpecialGoose182
Nowhere@all *gets punched in the kidneys*

9) What's in your sig?
i have no signature
short and sweet: just a quote and a link.
angsty lyrics.
A reminder of my infinite superiority.
A song parody I wrote
A JTHM quote I pay NO attention to.
The Bitter Truth!
A banner that someone else made/A bunch of quotes.
song lyrics
selfish, self-promoting, black box
A quote from one of my favorite authors, and one from a board member which stays until I hear a new one.
My newest graphical creation
Secret plans to world domination, and blatant self-promotion
jhonen quotes and hobos.
Lyrics what I really should have rid myself of weeks ago, but y'know... I'm lazy and stuff. 
(no answer)
Inflamatory quotes that will probably get me killed

10) Have you ever perpetrated board rape?
i filmed one once, but never participated
not yet...
noooooooooooooooooooooo............................................. yes.
Me? Never. Victimized? ...don't bring it up.
Uh, no. I have started discussions about the legal meaning of rape, however
I'm celibate. I don't WANT to be, it just turns out that way.
Boards aren't my type.
no, but I fully endorse it.
It was only technically rape the first time.
Pass. I don't want to talk about it.
Nope. I am not against it, though.
No, but I've been a victim of it... sort of...
only sausage making. O_o
None that I'm aware of.
I tried, stupid Klein dummies.

11) What would you do for a klondike bar?
set a hobo on fire
*eats the klondike bar*
ehehe. many a thing. *winkwinknudgenudgecoughcough.*
Kill my family and loved ones, lose the respect of my nation and god, and pay the sales price.
Go to the grocery (as opposed to 'gorcery') store and pay for one
Nothing, I don't like Ice Cream.
not a whole lot, actually.
absolutely nothing. nothing at all.
I love those! Still, not much beyond paying for it.
Run around a field of daisies naked.
Brutally murder mass quantities of weasils. Or just Klein.
Nothing really (can I have some cheetos?)
tear off my right leg and throw it into traffic.
Assasinate the president?
Buy it
Commit ritualistic suicide in the "Help Save IZ" forum

12) You find a small milipede crawling about beneath your keyboard. You --
burn it with a cigarette and dispose of the corpse
flick it out the window. you're free now, little millipede!
slam my keyboard on it repeatedly... then maybe get some bug spray... then ask the closest person to throw it away for me.
Attempt to turn it into a weapon of some sort...
Fantasize about Little Rondell Jr. being hogtied, beaten (by accident) and scanned. Too bad it's not the bones of a rat.
Do nothing. Why waste the energy?
stare at it in intense envy.
Give it all my love, then send it outside to learn and grow in harmony with nature, in the middle of winter.
Place it outside.
proclaim it your friend at once and then hug it until its vital millipede-juice oozes out. you lose so many friends that way...
scan him and name him Rondell.
Attempt to crush it with the keyboard, destroying the keyboard, the mouse next to it, the keyboard shelf, and breaking two fingers. The millipede, of course, would live.
Make a cage out of cardboard and capture him. I would then name him Spoofles and cherish him forever.
Roast it. 
...pick it up, pet it, and drop it from my 7th floor balcony
befriend it and name it sally.
mistake it for a worm what was electrocuted and placed in my egg cream; emit a very unmanly scream.
Freeze, and throw it away
Spray massive amounts of pesticide on it, not remembering to use proper ventilation, thereby causing my untimely demise.

13) A train leaves Santa Fe going Northeast at 60 miles an hour, a second train leaves Chicago going South at 45 miles an hour, and the average wind velocity is 25 miles per hour. In the first train, Bob is walking toward the caboose at roughly 5 miles an hour and is carrying an object weighing 5 pounds. In the second train, Joe is walking towards the front of the train at 3 miles an hour and is carrying an object weighing 10 pounds. Bob and Joe drop these objects simultaneously. How much of the question did you actually read before skipping to the end?
the whole question, and the answer is 4.69464 + the average weight of a monkey
I got to santa fe. aren't you proud? I'm way cool like that. waaaay cool. =loser.
...I refuse to answer that.
I read it thoroghly, as I would rather read about trains in Santa Fe than do homework
All of it, just can't remember any of it.
I read the whole thing, while wondering if it is possible to KILL Physics...
Something about caboose.
...the whole thing. why do you taunt me so?!
I only went to the end first so I knew what the question was!
*laughs* About ten words, but i went back and read the rest later.
Half a sentence
Aw man! I read the whole damn thing!
What question?
**throws bob and joe into the sausage grinder**
Roughly eight words or so.
Um... *Smiles and nods*
*raises hand* Is this gonna be on the final? *is stabbed*

14) You are most likely to start a topic about...
why i hate people, or quantum physics
my latest escapades.
something AMAZING... otherwise I don't. replying is just fine for me.
Something no one cares about.
I don't start topics. But if I did, it would probably be something that gets me yelled at.
My newest 'masterpiece' on DeviantArt
nothing. I only ever think of drivel.
questions with no answers.
(no answer)
something that makes people laugh at how horribly sad people are today, like the darwin awards
....sailboats. (damn you, Thorn!)
shit that's really really bugging me. it takes a lot for me to open a thread
Whatever the hell I feel like talking about.
...the government, and something it does wrong
i rarely start topics. when i do, be assured they make not sense much.
Hot towels... or something. 
Something disturbing, the birthday of my idol Zim, or something about not being grounded anymore
Something innapropiate or long-winded... *is pecked to death by ducks*

15) If you had the magical ability to make it rain anything, _______ would henceforth fall out of the sky --
money, as long as it didn't lose its value.
skittles/starburst/pez/sweethearts. I like me some candy.
Snow or, possibly, men.
I'd say money, but then money would be worthless. Diamonds are tempting, but that would make it dangerous to go out in the rain. I'll just go with water.
Dr. Pepper
(no answer)
CANDAY! ohhhh... if aaaaaall the raindrops were lemondrops and gumdrops, oh what a rain that would be! standing outside with my mouth open wide, AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-A-*is shot*
Anything? Some kind of liquid which burns cleanly and efficiently, is safe for all living things to swim in and/or consume, neutralizes nuclear waste, and tastes like chicken. 
Fiery snowflakes
exploding peanuts. or maybe candy. 
Raspberry slushie syrup. (Cherry on weekends)
Tiger's Blood slushies
Medical assistance

16) Your favorite artist is -- (contemporary or past, any type of artist)
dave mckean
Dan Piraro, Jhonen Vasquez, Gary Larson, or anyone else sufficiently bizarre.
myself. HAAAAA. ha. I make funny joke. no... I don't have a favorite. too many artists.
Réné Magritte. Word.
Al Hirschfeld
HR Giger.
A zimployee, duh...
(no answer)
steve of "blue's clues" fame. his little squiggly water lines were GENIUS!! that bastard joe can't hold a candle to such artistic talent...
That's like asking me which socks I like best. They're all nice in their own way. Except the ones that have frills. Those are annoying.
Smashing Pumpkins
Van Gogh
Carl Orff
good lord. that is the unanswerable question, for i am an art freak.
That one guy who did that thing that one time... 
Danny Elfman, Kevin Manthei, and Tool
I... I don't know... I can't choose! *bursts a vein in anxiety, lies on the floor bleeding*

17) If you found $50 lying on the ground, you would --
take it, and kick the crap out of anyone who tried to stop me.
put it in the "you deserve a GameCube" fund
look around... take it... walk off casually. possibly say, "OH. thank god I found it."
Hoard it.
Turn it in, just as a good little person should :D
pocket it and hide it from the big, bad world.
See if anyone nearby lost cash, and if not then stash it away in savings.
Grin, and congratulate myself on my amazing find.
*munches on $50 bill* hmm?
jump around in circles like a happy bunny before adding it to my giant jar of unspent money that will never see the light of day.
Pocket it without a trace of guilt. Later, spend it on alcohol.
Ask the person next to me if it is theirs. I would then pocket it if it werenít of their ownership.
snatch it up and keep walking, but feel guilty later. 
...buy more RAM
buy lots and lots of candy. and dolls.
Spend much of the day trying to find the best way to purchase an even number of each slushie flavor with said monies. 
Spend it on Zim and Jhonen stuff
Check for those pesky strings leading off into dark alleyways

18) The last book you read was --
probably some instruction manual, i don't know.
The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett
great expectations. it was for school. blah.
Takcydermy Made Easy
A Civil Action
"Black House" by Stephen King.
Bridgeman's Guide to Drawing from Life.
Some science-fiction book... or Lord of the Flies, the most recent school assignment.
alice sebold's "the lovely bones". what, did you want a funny answer? I'm not a machine, people!
the Last Unicorn. (shut up.)
Doomsday Book, by Connie Francis. Currently working on The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlien
To Kill a Mockingbird
American Short Stories by Women, 1832-1916
The Devil's Notebook (unless you count Slashdot articles)
batman - the complete history, by les daniels
Life, the Universe, and Everything'
The Face on the Milk Carton
"Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk

19) Windows or Linux?
linux ideally, but windows realistically
pshaw. Linux.
windows, ho. windows.
Windows. Yes, I am boring
Windows, though I despise Microsoft's autocratic guts.
Mac, dammit, mac!
Ca ne me dit rien.
*sighs* Windows *steps into line*
Windows, my friend
...why is Windows even an option? and what happened to BeOS, huh? HUH?
i've never liked 'peanuts'.
*ahem* MacOS, thank you...
Windows, Microsoft owns me....
Dual-boot system, BAYBEE!! BWAHAHAHA*choke*

20) Pie or Cake?
pie makes cake it's bitch
got pi! need milk!
pie. pie rules all. yeah, cake WISHES it was pie.
Cake, especially if it's chocolate and filled with ice cream
Cake. Pastry only serves to conceal things. Taunting me, hiding their secrets away from me, I HATE THEM!
rice krispies treats!
mmmm 1.5 pie...
cake! Of course!
Cake. No question.
Cake, but only if it is ice cream cake.
Cake... I love their music...
gotta haves me somma dat pah.
Cake, I s'pose. Depends on the type of pie/cake, really.
Scones. *is beaten to death by mental patients wielding spiked planks*

21) What are you doing here?
answering questions
what are you doing?
I um... oh. I thought this was... um. nevermind... I just... ok, I'm leaving now.
Losing sleep.
Living. Laughing. Loving.
Um, something. I don't know.
Hoping against hope that people actually like me.
I like conversation, and I learn a lot from the people I meet at rwam. Oh, and there used to be this show...what's it called again? Something about a little green alien dude...
I followed a link, like a fool.
I wish I knew...
Stop that.
Visiting/Lost. Checking it all out while I find my way home.
I am sitting pleasantly on a fence post.
Wasting space and giving advice.
...what? You're not my wife! Get out of here!
filling my gullet with friends and newbies.
What are... YOU doing here?!
Leave me alone
Languishing in agonized pain. help me

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